


Eliza, please listen

by hermionebennet



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alexander doesn't speak much, Eliza speaks her mind, F/M, Post-Reynolds Pamphlet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 02:54:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9696551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hermionebennet/pseuds/hermionebennet
Summary: This is my first fic and English is not my first language so there are lots and lots of mistakes. I've tried to correct them and I hope it's not too difficult to read.I've tried to imagine what would happen if Eliza had the chance to speak directly to Alexander and what happened when she learned about the Reynolds Pamphlet. There might be a lot of historical inaccuracies because I didn't pay any attention to this.I may continue this or I may not but I wanted to share it with you because I read a lot of fics and I wanted to try writing one.





	

"Eliza, please listen to me." Alexander Hamilton begged his wife. She was standing in front of their bedroom window. She couldn't even look at him. Those eyes had always been her weakness and she perfectly knew the moment she would turn to him she would fall apart. And it was not fair. She was the one who was heart broken. She was the one who had been cheated on. How could he talk to her with this imploring tone? As if what he did wasn't his fault.

Maybe he thought that his ability to talk his way through all his problems would save him again. But not this time. She would not let him. He had to pay for what he did to her, to their family, to her children. Yes HER children. He must go. He must take all his clothes and books and his thousands of pages of writing and he must leave this house this instant.

"Don't talk to me like you're the victim in this story, Alexander."

" I know I'm not but please Eliza. In the name of everything we've shared together, of all the memories. Please think one second before saying or doing something you would regret."

"Did you think about this when you brought this girl to our house? Did you think about me at all? How dare you use it against me when all you've done for months and months is not caring at all about me. About us."

She was surprised at how easily the words came out of her mouth. She was stronger than she thought. She had always thought that only Angelica was able to speak her mind like this. But she was tired of finding excuses. She had forgotten the absence, she had comforted her children so many times. When he had missed their birthdays or their first words. He had missed all the little victories and their discoveries. He had not been the father he had promised to be and now he was trying to make her feel guilty because she wanted to protect them?

" Do you know that Philip is the person who brought me the news? Your own son. Can you imagine the pain and the shame I saw in his eyes? I don't think you even care about this. I think you're just afraid for your reputation and about what the people will say about this situation. I think you don't care about how we feel. I think I've been mistaken about you all those years. And now I have to live with the fact that the person I gave up everything for has betrayed me."

" I'm sorry to make you feel that way. I never wanted to hurt you. I don't know how it happened."

"Had it happened once maybe I could believe you. Maybe I would even be able to forgive you. But it happened for months and then the only thing you thought proper to do was to write a damn pamphlet to explain everything. Why did you need to write this? How could you think that this would save your legacy and reputation? How could you think that this would save your family?"

He stayed silent. For the first time in his life he was at a loss for words. He had never seen his wife like this. She didn't seem sad, it was worse than that. She was so hurt that her face was blank. One of the things he had always loved about Eliza is that you could see every emotion she was feeling from the light in her eyes, the shape of her smile and the color on her cheeks. From the first look she gave him at this winter's ball many years ago to her face when she told him she was pregnant for the first time. Or the eagerness in her eyes when she begged him to take a break. Why didn't he listen to her? Now even as she was turning to stare at him coldly he could see nothing. He was starting to understand all the damages he had made. It was a hurricane destroying everything he had known and loved and he was the only one to blame for that. Because he created it. He tried to take a step towards her but she raised her hand to stop him.

" You've lost the right to touch me and comfort me. I want you to be gone before dinner. And don't you dare talk to the children. I'll explain everything to them later. You promised me that I would never feel helpless. You lied. All you did was lying."

" You can't forbid me to see our children." Tears started to roll down his cheeks, she could hear the pain in his voice but she didn't feel compassion for him. He had none for her.

"I will find a solution. Later. For now I'm not even sure they want to see you. And I know I don't want to see you anymore."

He looked at her but finally dropped his eyes to the floor, ashamed. He knew that he couldn't do anything and had no other choice but to obey his wife's demands. He took one bag and put some clothes in it and then went to find some papers for his work in his office. As he turned to leave the room Philip was there standing and looking at him.

"Son, I know this must be hard for you."

"No you don't. You said you'd be here for me unlike your father was for you."

" I know, I'm sorry. I have no excuses for what I did. I got carried away and ..."

" I thought I told you not to talk to the children." Eliza was coming and she looked furious.

" Mother I was just talking to father." Philip tried to explain.

" Philip please go to your room, your father has to leave."

" Will he come back?"

" Sure son" "We don't know yet" they said at the same time.

Alexander looked at his wife and understood something. His wife didn't just ask him for some time apart so she could think and heal before forgiving him. What she had in mind was a permanent banishment from their family house. The house he had destroyed with his actions and his words.

Philip left the room reluctantly, feeling that something he couldn't entirely understand was happening between his parents.

The atmosphere in the house felt cold for both Eliza and Alexander. She felt lonely, she also felt helpless but not in the way she used to. She didn't long to be with him and spend time with him. Just looking at him was painful and she felt helpless because she didn't know if one day she could go back to the loving wife she was. It scared her. Deep inside a broken family was the biggest nightmare she could imagine. She only had the experience of her parents. Both were in love of each other. Even the loss of a child had brought them closer together. She felt angry and guilty. She had done nothing wrong but she couldn't help feeling this way. She knew society expected her to forgive and let her husband take back his place in the marital bed but she couldn't. She wouldn't. She didn't know what hurt her the most. Was it that he had been intimate with another woman? Done things he was supposed to do only with her? Or was it the public humiliation and the fact that he had pushed his political agenda and his public reputation before his family? And what a reputation he had. He had dishonored the name of "Hamilton", the name her children were bearing. What would happen to them? How could they make their own place in the narrative with such a legacy? This thought gave strengh to her resolution.

"I guess I should go" Alexander said.

"Yes, thank you." Eliza whispered. It seemed something ridiculous to say but she was glad that for once he didn't argue with what she asked him.

He took a step to go out of the room, stopped and watched her silently. His eyes were filled with tears but he managed to hold them.

"I know you don't want to hear this but I need to tell you before I go. In case it's the last time we speak. I want you to know how deeply sorry I am and how much I love you. I'm perfectly aware that I deserve no forgiveness but I hope that you'll find in your heart a way to give me another chance." His voice was shaking with emotion and as he was saying these words he didn't look at her directly. He didn't give her the time to answer, took her hand to kiss it and left the house.

Eliza didn't go to the window to look at him. She went back to her children's room and tried to explain the situation. She couldn't tell them the whole truth. They were too young and she didn't want them to hate him or have a bad opinion of him. The younger didn't really understand what was happening and just kept asking when their father would come back. Philip was sitting on his bed, his eyes on his mother. He knew what his mother was hiding to his younger siblings. He didn't know what to believe, his family was a beacon to him. He grew up with the pride of being his father's son. He would do anything to protect his father's name. HIS name. Nothing that had happened between his mother and his father would stop that. It shouldn't change anything. Who would he be if he stopped being Philip Hamilton?

His mother was still soothing her children, singing the same melody she sang to him when he was a child. He would make her proud. He would restore their name to respectability and his mother would not have to worry anymore. He knew that he could bring his parents back together. He had to.

Nothing would destroy the Hamilton's legacy.

  
  


 


End file.
